[ the punchline here is supposed to be that erwin is very, very easygoing and normal and fine, but everyone following along at home knows he's the most intense man on any planet. with that said, he's getting a pass for his awful joke because when it comes to levi and only levi, his intensity has a different flavor that could be construed, if you squint really hard, as being easygoing.
when levi shifts so does erwin, though only to roll onto his side and drape his arm over levi to let it dangle, touching just to touch, his fingertips just barely brushing the sheets behind levi. ]
We didn't know this kind of existence was possible, so I don't think it's surprising to not have had that kind of daydream.
Well, I didn't think it was possible for me.You, on the other hand...
[ his brows furrow, more thoughtful than troubled, but there's something vaguely melancholy in his voice when he continues, tucking a stray strand of hair behind Erwin's ear. ]
I guess I did kinda assume you'd end up having your own place like this, someday after you were physically forced to retire. You and your perfect wife and your twelve perfect kids who were all fucking geniuses too.
[ and how did he factor into the equation? maybe he'd come visit every once in a while. it would be hard—incredibly hard, even—but if Erwin was happy, that was all that mattered.
[ sorry, he sounds genuinely a little dumbfounded. has he said he wanted a wife and kids and doesn't remember it? is this some parallel universe thing? is levi just being dramatic and down on himself as not being The One until erwin made it clear he is again? we just don't know.
anyway, instead of saying any of those things, he says: ]
I was never interested in that kind of life.
[ not the house with a partner part, obviously, look at him now. the wife and kids part. ]
I don't think that suits me. [ a beat, and a reminder: ] This does, though.
[ Erwin has never said such a thing, it's true. it's entirely a fabrication out of Levi's mind—notably less logical than Erwin's, but also infected with a severe case of Ackerman Brainrot, in which the victim will without a second thought throw everything away, up to and including their own happiness if necessary, if they think it means it will improve the life of their Special Person even a small amount. normal people want a wife and kids, he thinks, therefore Erwin should be able to have that. Erwin is not a normal person, and on some level Levi knows that, but there's a disconnect.
that's probably because the notion that Erwin would ever want him was such a preposterous idea that he always felt a bit silly even daydreaming about it.
but the thing is, he's not exactly aware that his brain works this way, so he just frowns, sheepish for having made (or at least admitted) such a baseless assumption. he thinks he knows Erwin better than anyone, so why was he so completely wrong about this shit?
maybe it doesn't matter. he's very, very glad he was wrong. ]
...Yeah. I don't really know where that came from. I guess it doesn't make much sense looking back.
[ then again, to him it still doesn't make sense that Erwin wants him, either. maybe he doesn't need to understand everything. ]
[ luckily, now that erwin has full awareness of the ackerman brainrot (tm), he can ensure that levi doesn't throw everything away up to and including his own happiness. if the tactic for that is reminding levi that levi's happiness is erwin's own happiness, that's his own ding dang business, frankly.
neither of them are normal, but that's why they work together so well. they're both screwed up in impossibly weird ways but somehow those weird ways intertwine and interlock perfectly so that when they're together, there are no jagged edges, no gaping holes in personhood or anything.
in any case, erwin kisses levi's frown as soon as it appears, idle and easy because they can be idle and easy now, and shrugs one shoulder. ]
It's a good dream for a lot of people. I don't think it's completely off-base to have thought of what for many would be an ideal state of being and consider it as something to aspire to for someone you care about.
[ light, maybe a little teasing. just a little. a reminder that erwin appreciates just how much levi thinks about erwin's happiness, because that's how much erwin thinks of levi's too. ]
I'll just keep considering myself lucky to have gotten this chance for the impossible.
[ it's hard to keep a frown or even his default vaguely-disgruntled expression on his face when it's getting kissed all the time these days. it's a pretty awesome problem to have, actually.
needless to say, he smiles, already over his brief embarrassment. as usual, Erwin knows exactly what to say. ]
Well, I'm also not gonna pretend I wouldn't have been a little jealous of whoever you did marry.
[ a little. they both know that's a massive understatement, but whatever. it's not like he's ever getting married anyway, right?
right. ]
But I can't think of anyone more likely to do something impossible than you.
[ right. neither of them are ever getting married to anyone, ever, who could ever think that such a thing would happen. a crazy person, that's who.
something always feels a little like it's cracking apart in erwin's chest when he sees levi smile, but in a good way. like some walls that crumble are supposed to. ]
They would've had to pass your vetting process first, anyway.
[ mildly, like it's a joke too, even though they know it's true. if levi actually disapproved of someone erwin was interested in, it would have made erwin look at that person again, re-examine things, and figure out what levi saw he hadn't. trusting levi's opinions and his observations are a large part of how he got the successes he did get, after all, so it makes sense.
and so: ]
If you think about it, you're doing the impossible too. No one else could manage.
[ literally anyone else trying to deal with erwin's level of crazy in this capacity would give up, surely. he's handsome and smart, sure, but the rest of him would eventually outweigh those positives. except to levi, who likes the weird parts of him. checkmate. ]
[ he doesn't sound too broken up about that, is the thing. in fact, he doesn't sound broken up about it at all. he sounds a little wry, a little teasing, and a lot like he's continuing to be in the best possible mood. happier than he's ever been, much like levi.
he likes levi smiling. likes him any kind of possible way, but smiling is his favorite. maybe that's sappy and romantic, how he's hitting those already crumbling walls of separation with a hammer to see more and more of it. so what if it is? he doesn't care.
erwin does snort softly at the quip, letting himself grin as he presses a light kiss to levi's cheekbone this time. ]
That makes two of us. I'm happy the feeling is mutual.
[ ... well, clearly erwin thought it was romantic. ]
[ if Erwin thinks some of the dumb shit he says is romantic, then that's a huge win. sometimes it feels like Erwin can do things like that without really even trying, and he gets a little irritated with himself when what he wants to express just comes out as ineloquent yammering. Erwin will say something offhand that melts his heart into a puddle, and he'll stammer back something so fucking stupid that any eavesdroppers would surely wonder why the fuck this handsome intellectual blonde guy would settle for the tiny tired-looking one with the abysmal vocabulary.
it's a question he ponders every day himself, truthfully. it happens late at night when Erwin is already asleep and he's not because he's still a recovering insomniac. but starting now, they'll be able to sleep in the same bed every night—maybe he won't get trapped in those thoughts quite so easily when Erwin is right there next to him?
it's hard not to imagine everything being better when they can live together. he can't think of a single downside, actually.
he smiles again when Erwin kisses his cheek. it's practically a reflex now. ]
Of course it is. I love being... handled... by you.
[ let's be honest, erwin thinks all the dumb shit levi says is romantic, because he can very easily translate it into the actual meaning. it's not his problem if no one else understands; it's for him and it's for them, not outside parties.
sometimes erwin's the one who wonders what levi sees in him, but he puts faith in it because it's clearly real and he's selfish enough that he won't question it aloud even if he feels like he'll never forget the edge of guilt he has for everyone he's ever led into the jaws of fate.
but that's not a thought for today, and certainly not a thought for the moment, when levi smiles and answers him and winces, but—
—erwin lets out another quiet, undignified snort of mirth as he buries his face directly into levi's neck, somehow still endlessly charmed. love's a hell of a thing. ]
[ if Erwin ever really wants to know what Levi sees in him, he's more than welcome to ask. he might regret it after half an hour has gone by and Levi is still listing off all the things about Erwin that he loves and admires, but the offer is always on the table.
Erwin is his very favorite thing to talk about, after all.
he's a little startled by Erwin's response to him running his mouth. but what did he expect, exactly? did he think Erwin was just going to stand up and be like "yeah, that's it, I just can't do this anymore" and leave? wouldn't that have happened a long time ago?
how does he know Erwin so well but still have such a massive blind spot when it comes to shit like this? maybe Erwin's not the only one with self-esteem issues.
he's startled in a good way, though, and when Erwin leans into his neck he smiles, a newly familiar warmth blooming in his chest. his hand moves to rest on Erwin's head. ]
You're such a weirdo.
[ he dips his head down to bury his nose in Erwin's hair, sighing quietly. ]
[ another fun problem: erwin has all the time in the world now to listen to levi list off the reasons he loves erwin, but erwin would almost immediately get flustered about it because he doesn't see those things in himself. it'd be an interesting way to turn the tables, actually, put a pin in that for another thread. or later in this one.
levi's been through a lot. he should get to see erwin being a flustered mess as a treat. at least once. he deserves it. ]
I'm a weirdo? I must be really lucky that you like weirdos, then. At least this one.
[ teasing, maybe, with a lift to his tone at the end of it.
he settles comfortably again, fingers trailing through levi's hair over and over, just relishing the closeness and the affection he can both give and receive now. ]
I love you too. Never forget that. No matter what happens here or anywhere else we end up, I love you.
Only this one. [ very important that he makes that distinction. ] Of course you're a weirdo, have you met you?
[ he shakes his head in an act of faux exasperation, and then he's quiet for a moment or two, like he's considering what to say next—or if he should say it. but he does speak up again, and when he does, the teasing tone of his voice is completely gone. ]
You're also impossibly brilliant, beautiful, inspiring, fearless, wise, and by far the best thing that's ever happened to me.
[ he looks up to meet Erwin's eyes and smiles, a little sheepish. ]
I haven't. [ a beat passes as he processes something though, about this place, and things he's seen— ] —I suppose if I would meet myself anywhere, it would be here.
[ that's not what levi meant and erwin knows it, but his mind still went down that path because of course it did. at least he has no concept of evil alternates though. imagine this man with an evil beard. it'd be awful.
he's serious as he listens to the rest of what levi says though, quiet and watching his expression, catching the sheepish smile and returning it with a fond one of his own. ]
I'm glad it does. I'm grateful that someone as remarkable as you are sees me that way. I— [ he has to say this right. levi might accept it no matter the wording, but this is important. permanent. forever. ] I think I knew it was you before I even knew it was you, if that makes sense.
[ 'nailed it' isn't quite the right term for his phrasing, but it's a feeling he's come to realize and understand to be the truth. a magnetic draw, opposites attracting, all of those things he never thought would matter did and do.
Ah, finally somebody who could talk to you on your level. That'd be a new one for you, I'm sure.
[ good lord they could talk endlessly about every single goddamn thing they were mutually curious about. they'd be unstoppable. and if one of them were evil... phew. these fae would have a major problem on their hands.
not that Levi could even conceive of the possibility of a truly evil Erwin, of course.
but even though he's certainly not Erwin's intellectual equal, he does understand what Erwin is saying, and it brings another smile to his face—and there's no embarrassment hiding behind it this time. he leans in to kiss Erwin softly, staying close after, resting his forehead against Erwin's. ]
Of course you did.
[ it's not patronizing or sarcastic at all—he's completely genuine, matter-of-fact in the way he would expect nothing less from Erwin. he's not surprised in the slightest. ]
[ one of the perks of not being able to fathom erwin ever being truly evil is that if there was an evil twin/clone, levi would notice even the tiniest deviation from erwin's normal behavior immediately, deem them an evil copy, and the mirror universe episode would be very, very short because the problem would be immediately solved.
erwin would probably have to kill his own evil self though while levi was in another room or something, we don't need any more death trauma on our hands.
currently, erwin raises both eyebrows at the 'on your level' claim, then snorts and shakes his head. ]
You're the only person who's ever actually understood me in the ways that matter and you know it.
[ levi downplays his own intelligence a lot but the fact remains that he's the only one who can so, so easily follow the trails of thought and pick up on what he's going for when he makes a decision. so what if they're not having college course discussion book clubs, erwin could pull a plan out of his ass and levi would Get It immediately and that's what erwin needs.
a beat passes. ]
Honestly, I'd probably annoy myself before too much time passed.
[ erwin finding himself insufferable when faced with the concept tracks, probably.
then, with their foreheads touching, he closes his eyes and exhales. ]
It all fell into place Now that we're here. I have no complaints.
[ on some level, he does know he's the only one who really understood Erwin, and he hates it. the shit people would say or even just imply about the kind of person they thought Erwin was made his blood boil. he has to make a pointed effort not to think about it any more than that so he doesn't sour their moment together.
in short summary, fuck those people.
but it still breaks his heart that the one person with the most overwhelmingly negative view of Erwin is Erwin. of course Erwin thinks he would just annoy himself; how could he not have anticipated that? he tries not to let the sudden melancholy show, holding Erwin a little bit tighter instead.
someday, he'll convince Erwin to like himself. in the meantime, though, Levi will love him enough for both of them and for everyone else who ever lived and still have a lot left over afterwards. ]
I guess I gotta give you some things to complain about then, huh?
[ shouldn't be too hard. people complain about him all the time. ]
What, exactly, do you think I would complain about?
[ a little teasing, maybe, because for erwin talking about annoying himself isn't melancholy or sad, just statement of fact. but levi annoying him, especially enough to complain about it? he honestly can't think of anything that might do that.
pot, meet kettle, at least in a slightly adjacent way. he squeezes levi back, eyes lidded but not quite shut, then murmurs his next words low and pointed. ]
I chose you. It will always be you even if you're trying to cause trouble.
[ he says it with an smile, at least, and he means it. ]
I guess that means I wouldn't say no to a little harmless trouble.
[ what a comforting thought. or it would be, if he had any actual desire to stir up shit like that anymore—why would he, though? this is closer to perfect than he ever could have imagined possible. there's no way he's gonna fuck that up, 'harmless' or not. ]
No, I think I gave you enough trouble in the first few months you knew me to last several lifetimes. It's a wonder you don't have any gray hairs yet.
[ he pauses, making a bit of a show of leaning in and squinting curiously up at Erwin's hairline. ]
[ based on how things go around here, they might have to cause trouble. erwin does have the concept of stealing away to someone else's world if things go bad, of course, but that would probably involve some kind of power struggle.
they'd be doing it together, though. how romantic. ]
I've never considered you trouble, though.
[ —then he pauses, both eyebrows raising. and maybe he does have some grey hairs, but they blend in with the blond pretty well, so good for him. still, he looks mildly harried for once, and over the thought of having them. it's a rare look on him, owing to the way he's mostly an unruffled kind of guy, but aging? wow, what a concept.
not one he'd thought he'd be able to experience, but he doesn't say that aloud. ]
[ he doesn't really want to bring up any of the multiple times he tried to murder Erwin right this moment, but it's frankly insane that Erwin wouldn't even count that as him being 'trouble'. surely there's something he could do that Erwin would find troublesome??
whatever. he's not interested in finding out if that line exists. his job is to eliminate all the trouble in Erwin's life, not the opposite.
for example, he immediately clocks that he shouldn't have made that kind of joke seeing Erwin's reaction. he knows it has nothing to do with vanity; beyond that, though, he has no idea where Erwin's brain could have gone.
he frowns, chiding himself internally, and leans in to press an apologetic kiss to Erwin's forehead. ]
As if you'll ever be anything but distractingly handsome.
[ to me, he could say, but he doesn't. he doesn't consider this to be subjective. ]
Anyway, it'll be way more noticeable on me than you. Better prepare yourself for that.
[ let a guy have a little existential crisis about how he's supposed to be dead, as a treat. he'll get over it; he recovers fast, shaking his head with a low chuckle so soon as he gets that kiss and commentary. ]
Your opinion is the only one that matters to me anyway.
[ erwin will say the to me for him, in that case. he takes a long moment to examine levi's face, head tilting, still wearing that small and infuriating (to other people) smile he sometimes gets. ]
I'm prepared for whatever the future will bring us.
[ —it's another of those situations where he's said something hopelessly romantic but has no idea that he has because for him it's just fact, it's just the way things are, it's right and that's all that matters. ]
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[ the punchline here is supposed to be that erwin is very, very easygoing and normal and fine, but everyone following along at home knows he's the most intense man on any planet. with that said, he's getting a pass for his awful joke because when it comes to levi and only levi, his intensity has a different flavor that could be construed, if you squint really hard, as being easygoing.
when levi shifts so does erwin, though only to roll onto his side and drape his arm over levi to let it dangle, touching just to touch, his fingertips just barely brushing the sheets behind levi. ]
We didn't know this kind of existence was possible, so I don't think it's surprising to not have had that kind of daydream.
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[ his brows furrow, more thoughtful than troubled, but there's something vaguely melancholy in his voice when he continues, tucking a stray strand of hair behind Erwin's ear. ]
I guess I did kinda assume you'd end up having your own place like this, someday after you were physically forced to retire. You and your perfect wife and your twelve perfect kids who were all fucking geniuses too.
[ and how did he factor into the equation? maybe he'd come visit every once in a while. it would be hard—incredibly hard, even—but if Erwin was happy, that was all that mattered.
that's all that's ever mattered. ]
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[ sorry, he sounds genuinely a little dumbfounded. has he said he wanted a wife and kids and doesn't remember it? is this some parallel universe thing? is levi just being dramatic and down on himself as not being The One until erwin made it clear he is again? we just don't know.
anyway, instead of saying any of those things, he says: ]
I was never interested in that kind of life.
[ not the house with a partner part, obviously, look at him now. the wife and kids part. ]
I don't think that suits me. [ a beat, and a reminder: ] This does, though.
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that's probably because the notion that Erwin would ever want him was such a preposterous idea that he always felt a bit silly even daydreaming about it.
but the thing is, he's not exactly aware that his brain works this way, so he just frowns, sheepish for having made (or at least admitted) such a baseless assumption. he thinks he knows Erwin better than anyone, so why was he so completely wrong about this shit?
maybe it doesn't matter. he's very, very glad he was wrong. ]
...Yeah. I don't really know where that came from. I guess it doesn't make much sense looking back.
[ then again, to him it still doesn't make sense that Erwin wants him, either. maybe he doesn't need to understand everything. ]
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neither of them are normal, but that's why they work together so well. they're both screwed up in impossibly weird ways but somehow those weird ways intertwine and interlock perfectly so that when they're together, there are no jagged edges, no gaping holes in personhood or anything.
in any case, erwin kisses levi's frown as soon as it appears, idle and easy because they can be idle and easy now, and shrugs one shoulder. ]
It's a good dream for a lot of people. I don't think it's completely off-base to have thought of what for many would be an ideal state of being and consider it as something to aspire to for someone you care about.
[ light, maybe a little teasing. just a little. a reminder that erwin appreciates just how much levi thinks about erwin's happiness, because that's how much erwin thinks of levi's too. ]
I'll just keep considering myself lucky to have gotten this chance for the impossible.
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needless to say, he smiles, already over his brief embarrassment. as usual, Erwin knows exactly what to say. ]
Well, I'm also not gonna pretend I wouldn't have been a little jealous of whoever you did marry.
[ a little. they both know that's a massive understatement, but whatever. it's not like he's ever getting married anyway, right?
right. ]
But I can't think of anyone more likely to do something impossible than you.
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something always feels a little like it's cracking apart in erwin's chest when he sees levi smile, but in a good way. like some walls that crumble are supposed to. ]
They would've had to pass your vetting process first, anyway.
[ mildly, like it's a joke too, even though they know it's true. if levi actually disapproved of someone erwin was interested in, it would have made erwin look at that person again, re-examine things, and figure out what levi saw he hadn't. trusting levi's opinions and his observations are a large part of how he got the successes he did get, after all, so it makes sense.
and so: ]
If you think about it, you're doing the impossible too. No one else could manage.
[ literally anyone else trying to deal with erwin's level of crazy in this capacity would give up, surely. he's handsome and smart, sure, but the rest of him would eventually outweigh those positives. except to levi, who likes the weird parts of him. checkmate. ]
no subject
[ plain and deadly serious. he's not going to think about it too hard, though, because he's never going to have to do that. Erwin is his.
what a nice thought.
it's nice to smile, too. he's smiled more in the last few months than he has in his entire life prior to coming here. it's not a coincidence. ]
Manage what, you? [ he clicks his tongue. how silly. ] It's a privilege. There's nothing I'd rather be doing than "managing" you.
[ that doesn't sound all that romantic, in retrospect. man, he's never gonna be good at this, is he? ]
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[ he doesn't sound too broken up about that, is the thing. in fact, he doesn't sound broken up about it at all. he sounds a little wry, a little teasing, and a lot like he's continuing to be in the best possible mood. happier than he's ever been, much like levi.
he likes levi smiling. likes him any kind of possible way, but smiling is his favorite. maybe that's sappy and romantic, how he's hitting those already crumbling walls of separation with a hammer to see more and more of it. so what if it is? he doesn't care.
erwin does snort softly at the quip, letting himself grin as he presses a light kiss to levi's cheekbone this time. ]
That makes two of us. I'm happy the feeling is mutual.
[ ... well, clearly erwin thought it was romantic. ]
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it's a question he ponders every day himself, truthfully. it happens late at night when Erwin is already asleep and he's not because he's still a recovering insomniac. but starting now, they'll be able to sleep in the same bed every night—maybe he won't get trapped in those thoughts quite so easily when Erwin is right there next to him?
it's hard not to imagine everything being better when they can live together. he can't think of a single downside, actually.
he smiles again when Erwin kisses his cheek. it's practically a reflex now. ]
Of course it is. I love being... handled... by you.
[ he winces. fuck, there it is again. ]
Sorry. That didn't really come out right.
no subject
sometimes erwin's the one who wonders what levi sees in him, but he puts faith in it because it's clearly real and he's selfish enough that he won't question it aloud even if he feels like he'll never forget the edge of guilt he has for everyone he's ever led into the jaws of fate.
but that's not a thought for today, and certainly not a thought for the moment, when levi smiles and answers him and winces, but—
—erwin lets out another quiet, undignified snort of mirth as he buries his face directly into levi's neck, somehow still endlessly charmed. love's a hell of a thing. ]
No, it came out just fine.
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Erwin is his very favorite thing to talk about, after all.
he's a little startled by Erwin's response to him running his mouth. but what did he expect, exactly? did he think Erwin was just going to stand up and be like "yeah, that's it, I just can't do this anymore" and leave? wouldn't that have happened a long time ago?
how does he know Erwin so well but still have such a massive blind spot when it comes to shit like this? maybe Erwin's not the only one with self-esteem issues.
he's startled in a good way, though, and when Erwin leans into his neck he smiles, a newly familiar warmth blooming in his chest. his hand moves to rest on Erwin's head. ]
You're such a weirdo.
[ he dips his head down to bury his nose in Erwin's hair, sighing quietly. ]
I love you so much.
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levi's been through a lot. he should get to see erwin being a flustered mess as a treat. at least once. he deserves it. ]
I'm a weirdo? I must be really lucky that you like weirdos, then. At least this one.
[ teasing, maybe, with a lift to his tone at the end of it.
he settles comfortably again, fingers trailing through levi's hair over and over, just relishing the closeness and the affection he can both give and receive now. ]
I love you too. Never forget that. No matter what happens here or anywhere else we end up, I love you.
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[ he shakes his head in an act of faux exasperation, and then he's quiet for a moment or two, like he's considering what to say next—or if he should say it. but he does speak up again, and when he does, the teasing tone of his voice is completely gone. ]
You're also impossibly brilliant, beautiful, inspiring, fearless, wise, and by far the best thing that's ever happened to me.
[ he looks up to meet Erwin's eyes and smiles, a little sheepish. ]
So I think it evens out.
no subject
[ that's not what levi meant and erwin knows it, but his mind still went down that path because of course it did. at least he has no concept of evil alternates though. imagine this man with an evil beard. it'd be awful.
he's serious as he listens to the rest of what levi says though, quiet and watching his expression, catching the sheepish smile and returning it with a fond one of his own. ]
I'm glad it does. I'm grateful that someone as remarkable as you are sees me that way. I— [ he has to say this right. levi might accept it no matter the wording, but this is important. permanent. forever. ] I think I knew it was you before I even knew it was you, if that makes sense.
[ 'nailed it' isn't quite the right term for his phrasing, but it's a feeling he's come to realize and understand to be the truth. a magnetic draw, opposites attracting, all of those things he never thought would matter did and do.
and he's so glad. ]
no subject
[ good lord they could talk endlessly about every single goddamn thing they were mutually curious about. they'd be unstoppable. and if one of them were evil... phew. these fae would have a major problem on their hands.
not that Levi could even conceive of the possibility of a truly evil Erwin, of course.
but even though he's certainly not Erwin's intellectual equal, he does understand what Erwin is saying, and it brings another smile to his face—and there's no embarrassment hiding behind it this time. he leans in to kiss Erwin softly, staying close after, resting his forehead against Erwin's. ]
Of course you did.
[ it's not patronizing or sarcastic at all—he's completely genuine, matter-of-fact in the way he would expect nothing less from Erwin. he's not surprised in the slightest. ]
no subject
erwin would probably have to kill his own evil self though while levi was in another room or something, we don't need any more death trauma on our hands.
currently, erwin raises both eyebrows at the 'on your level' claim, then snorts and shakes his head. ]
You're the only person who's ever actually understood me in the ways that matter and you know it.
[ levi downplays his own intelligence a lot but the fact remains that he's the only one who can so, so easily follow the trails of thought and pick up on what he's going for when he makes a decision. so what if they're not having college course discussion book clubs, erwin could pull a plan out of his ass and levi would Get It immediately and that's what erwin needs.
a beat passes. ]
Honestly, I'd probably annoy myself before too much time passed.
[ erwin finding himself insufferable when faced with the concept tracks, probably.
then, with their foreheads touching, he closes his eyes and exhales. ]
It all fell into place Now that we're here. I have no complaints.
no subject
in short summary, fuck those people.
but it still breaks his heart that the one person with the most overwhelmingly negative view of Erwin is Erwin. of course Erwin thinks he would just annoy himself; how could he not have anticipated that? he tries not to let the sudden melancholy show, holding Erwin a little bit tighter instead.
someday, he'll convince Erwin to like himself. in the meantime, though, Levi will love him enough for both of them and for everyone else who ever lived and still have a lot left over afterwards. ]
I guess I gotta give you some things to complain about then, huh?
[ shouldn't be too hard. people complain about him all the time. ]
no subject
[ a little teasing, maybe, because for erwin talking about annoying himself isn't melancholy or sad, just statement of fact. but levi annoying him, especially enough to complain about it? he honestly can't think of anything that might do that.
pot, meet kettle, at least in a slightly adjacent way. he squeezes levi back, eyes lidded but not quite shut, then murmurs his next words low and pointed. ]
I chose you. It will always be you even if you're trying to cause trouble.
[ he says it with an smile, at least, and he means it. ]
I guess that means I wouldn't say no to a little harmless trouble.
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No, I think I gave you enough trouble in the first few months you knew me to last several lifetimes. It's a wonder you don't have any gray hairs yet.
[ he pauses, making a bit of a show of leaning in and squinting curiously up at Erwin's hairline. ]
—Or do you?
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they'd be doing it together, though. how romantic. ]
I've never considered you trouble, though.
[ —then he pauses, both eyebrows raising. and maybe he does have some grey hairs, but they blend in with the blond pretty well, so good for him. still, he looks mildly harried for once, and over the thought of having them. it's a rare look on him, owing to the way he's mostly an unruffled kind of guy, but aging? wow, what a concept.
not one he'd thought he'd be able to experience, but he doesn't say that aloud. ]
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whatever. he's not interested in finding out if that line exists. his job is to eliminate all the trouble in Erwin's life, not the opposite.
for example, he immediately clocks that he shouldn't have made that kind of joke seeing Erwin's reaction. he knows it has nothing to do with vanity; beyond that, though, he has no idea where Erwin's brain could have gone.
he frowns, chiding himself internally, and leans in to press an apologetic kiss to Erwin's forehead. ]
As if you'll ever be anything but distractingly handsome.
[ to me, he could say, but he doesn't. he doesn't consider this to be subjective. ]
Anyway, it'll be way more noticeable on me than you. Better prepare yourself for that.
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Your opinion is the only one that matters to me anyway.
[ erwin will say the to me for him, in that case. he takes a long moment to examine levi's face, head tilting, still wearing that small and infuriating (to other people) smile he sometimes gets. ]
I'm prepared for whatever the future will bring us.
[ —it's another of those situations where he's said something hopelessly romantic but has no idea that he has because for him it's just fact, it's just the way things are, it's right and that's all that matters. ]